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Why was this day created and how has it evolved over time?
Take Your Daughter to Work day began in 1992 by Gloria Steinem as a project of the Ms. Foundation. It was created to show girls that being smart was something to be proud of and not something to hide. By providing girls with real-life models in the workplace, the hope was to offer something for girls to strive to achieve themselves. Gender did not have to hold them back from a desired profession.
Parade Magazine wrote about the program and by 1993 the Take Your Daughter to Work Day Foundation was formed to help expand the program nationally and internationally.
From Female Empowerment to Breaking Gender Stereotypes
In 2003, the Take Your Daughter to Work Day program expanded to include boys. Many criticized this, wasn’t the point to increase female empowerment? But the Foundation argued the expansion would only make the program stronger. It would allow for the dissolution of gender stereotypes completely. For instance, shouldn’t a boy be told he’s allowed to be a nurse?
Since then the program has continued to evolve. It’s now an April tradition, with worldwide participation. It purposefully takes place during the school year so educators can incorporate it into their lessons, drawing from real world experiences. There have even been purposeful strides in reaching out to low-income communities to find ways for children there to participate as well.
But are we really empowering our daughters?
All of this is fantastic. And I am grateful for these opportunities and lessons for our next generation of workers. However, I feel it’s important to examine the original intent behind the day and how it has changed over time. I love the idea of breaking gender stereotypes and teaching children they can follow any career path that interests them.
But, I feel the focus needs to change on where we empower our children. If I’m honest, I’m less concerned about my daughter, or my son, for that matter, excelling in the workplace. I know plenty of strong, empowered “girl-boss” friends. They speak up for themselves and are rocking the workplace. However, where I do still see an imbalance is on the home front where they’re desperate to find that elusive work-life balance.
If we examine current society and are honest with ourselves, it’s women who still shoulder the bulk of the burden when it comes to childcare and home management in addition to their jobs. Women are still the default parent who gets the phone call from school. They are usually the one who needs to stay home with a sick child. They carry the bulk of the emotional labor, scheduling dentist appointments, filling out school forms, replacing outgrown clothing, chauffeuring, etc.
Men have stepped up on the home front since women started working. I want to be clear, I see that. My husband does A LOT as do many of my friends’ husbands. However, it’s still a far cry from equal. And much of that is because of societal expectations. Schools still call the mother first when a child is sick. I have friends who have listed their husbands as first to call because their jobs are more flexible, and yet the school still calls them first.
Workplaces are also generally more accommodating for a mother to take off when a child is sick rather than a father. Some men I know even mention unspoken “stigmas” that stop them from asking for time off for parenting responsibilities. This goes back to the continuing need to fight for “paternity leave” when having a new baby. How can men ever equally carry the burden of parenting if their workplaces will not even allow them time at home when their baby is born?
And then there are the traditional gender stereotypes and expectations we allow ourselves to fall into. I teach college and my class recently had an interesting discussion about this topic. We read the article The Men We Carry in our Minds by Scott Russell Sanders. The basic gist of the article is a young male student gets into a debate with a college classmate about who has it harder- Men or Women. Our class discussion about the piece led us in many different directions, but at one point I asked them to raise their hands if a statement was true. Out of a class of 27 Gen Z students, only one had ever had a father take him on a field trip. And none thought their father would have known the name of their pediatrician.
Take Your Daughter to Work Starts at Home
We can most definitely tell our girls they can aim for any career path they want. But they are still seeing their mothers carry an unsustainable workload each day and battling burnout. What is the answer to that? It’s complicated, I know. But until that balance is shifted, our girls will unfortunately always hit a ceiling.
We have come a long way from the imbalance of parenthood from the past. Again, I applaud that men have made major strides in the division of responsibilities at home and child rearing. But we, as a society, can still do better.So, parents, instead of just taking your child to work. Consider what you model for them each day. Are you demonstrating an imbalanced division of labor in the home? Are you making sure one parent isn’t burning out from an overloaded plate? The daily application they witness are the lessons your children will carry. Empower your daughters to speak up, negotiate in all areas of their lives and thrive.
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